Merry Christmas!

I don't talk about religion much. Particularly since cancer, I know I have more questions than answers, and I know that a lot of my religious opinions are not the majority view. (This is your fair warning: I'm no theologian and if you want to avoid religion entirely, leave now!) But, as the Thanksgiving and Christmas Season started this year, it was really hard to watch the world celebrate giving thanks and being merry when I am not feeling particularly thankful or joyful.  Living with cancer is hard, and it isn't made easier when the doctors continue to say things like "it's growing, but I don't think we want to treat it yet" and "live your life now." It is just difficult, even though I am not currently having any treatment. Even at the best of times, cancer isn't far from my mind.  It just made my mood kind of dark, especially when contrasted with the upbeat renditions of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman coming from every radio. I wasn't sure when or where the light would come from.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only one who occasionally wishes their mood better was more joyful, or wished the pre-Christmas season was a little less glaringly loud and cheerful.

I was surprised to see some (not all) of this mindset reflected in some church celebrations as well. You see, I have been told over and over again in the past few weeks that this isn't Christmas yet, this is Advent, and Advent is primarily a season of waiting; waiting in the darkness for light to come. This season before Christmas is about a teenager who found out she was pregnant, and her fiance wasn't the father. Advent is about a man so hesitant to believe that his dream of having a son will come true, that he is struck dumb for months. If these people didn't know about fear and dark days, I don't know who does! Even in the old yule festival, this season is about a celebration of light on the darkest, coldest days of the year. I think this year, Advent is about how even on a dark day, the light comes from expected and unexpected places; seeing the smiles on my nieces and nephews faces, getting a hug from my gram, opening my mailbox and finding more than bills and junk, or getting an email from a friend.    Advent is about finding joy, hope, and peace during the waiting, and, just maybe, finding that the darkness makes the light look a little brighter.  

- I read once somewhere - The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 

I wish you and your family a Christmas full of light and joy, and New Year full of hope and peace.